Plastic Surgery Doesn’t Make You Pretty, and The Hulk

9 04 2010

OK, so even though I no longer need to write this blog for school, I wanted to write about my experience on the subway last night. I know some of you really like this blog, so, this one is for you.

I took the subway for the first time in a week last night. Since I’m working uptown, I no longer need to ride the train. But last night I did. I was with Anthony and we got on the subway together at Bloor and Yonge. Sitting in front of us was the fakest looking woman I have ever seen.

And no, she didn't look good, like Heidi sort of does.

This woman looked like she had everything done: Her boobs were large and, well, not natural. She had a very slim body (liposuction maybe?), her brows were lifted, her face was botoxed, her nose job, well, was a nose job, and she had lip injections. Her hair was dyed unnaturally blonde and I don’t know what else I have to say. She did not have good skin. It looked really scary actually. It may have been her pores or maybe she just had a chemical peel. I was kinda scared.

I never knew Carrot Top before his change.

I don’t want to sound like a bad person. I’m just a very natural person. I couldn’t even guess how old this woman was. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. I think people should get let their wrinkles show, you should be happy with the way you are. The thing about this woman, was she wasn’t happy. She didn’t get any extra attention. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone with this topic. But come on! Enough is enough!

On the other hand, on the same ride, I came face to face with The Hulk himself!

Ok, well not Lou, but a guy who looked exactly like him. It was crazy! He had huge arms and he just strolled into the subway car with his gym bag (of course) and just stood there.

I gave him a once over (I mean, he was HIGE!) and looked over at Anthony and squeezed his not as big biceps. I don’t think he noticed the guy because I’m sure he would have flexed or something. And I laughed.

Imagine hugging that guy!! I would be squished. Muscles have never tickled my fancy, I mean, come on buddy, you could kill someone with those guns!

So those were my latest victims of my blog.

A shout out to Sarah, who ran to the closing doors of the subway and left me stranded on the platform for not running as fast. Thanks, Sarah.


And a shout out to Katie R, whom I had a lovely conversation with waiting for the train: me on the westbound side, and her on the eastbound side.


Bye for now.

*Just to straighten things up, Anthony did see the Hulk and knew I would compare The Hulk to him.


Better Late Than Never

3 02 2010

The dreaded “blue line”: The late night bus that you have to wait many minutes for and by the time it comes, it’s full of drunken idiots, loud talkers, and many sleepers.

So on Saturday, not wanting to leave a very lovely party, Sarah, Traci and I ventured out onto the Danforth and walked to the corner. Crazy man on the corner. So we walk further down the road and wait in earnest for the next bus to come. I have to admit the Danforth-Bloor line bus was drama free. Although there was a couple rowdy people in the back, who talked way to loud, it actually felt like a Wednesday afternoon that was just really dark outside.

The drama came when we transfered to the Yonge line.

After leaving Traci on the bus, Sarah and I walked to the bus stop on Yonge and waited “freezingly” for a bus. I’m pretty sure it was 10 degrees below zero and we were shaking like crazy. But alas, the crazies were all around. Some European guys who were very drunk and bumming smokes off people. They didn’t have any girls with them. I wonder why. A very blonde girl and a guy standing on the steps. The blonde wasn’t wearing pants. I asked Sarah if she was naked. They were making out and the guy took off his jacket so she could wrap them around her bare legs. Maybe if she dressed for the weather and not like a ****, her love could have avoided hypothermia. There was also a girl that couldn’t stop talking about why the bus was taking so long and when we thought it was coming. I would have smacked her if I could feel my fingers.

We got on the bus and it was PACKED. A group of guys who were acting like “gangsters” and were listening to very bad music on their cellphone. The whole bus could hear it and they even started singing along. They talked like they were so cool but I’m pretty sure it was just an act. Three guys sat in front of us. Sarah mentioned that she wished she lived in the old days when men would give up their seat to women on buses. Especially at 3:00 AM. We eventually got seats and those loud singing “gangsters” finally got off the bus. Sarah and I sat together and got off at Finch.

The night was over. We got to my car and drove away. The radio was on low because we both had headaches. I pulled into my driveway at 4:30 AM.

Sarah and I vowed to never take the blue line again. Maybe only in the summer when it was warmer. Maybe never.

I think if I wasn’t so tired I would have listened to more conversations and observed more people. Lucky for them I didn’t.

This is what the girl looked like. Her jacket was shorter and she didn't have leggings.