Plastic Surgery Doesn’t Make You Pretty, and The Hulk

9 04 2010

OK, so even though I no longer need to write this blog for school, I wanted to write about my experience on the subway last night. I know some of you really like this blog, so, this one is for you.

I took the subway for the first time in a week last night. Since I’m working uptown, I no longer need to ride the train. But last night I did. I was with Anthony and we got on the subway together at Bloor and Yonge. Sitting in front of us was the fakest looking woman I have ever seen.

And no, she didn't look good, like Heidi sort of does.

This woman looked like she had everything done: Her boobs were large and, well, not natural. She had a very slim body (liposuction maybe?), her brows were lifted, her face was botoxed, her nose job, well, was a nose job, and she had lip injections. Her hair was dyed unnaturally blonde and I don’t know what else I have to say. She did not have good skin. It looked really scary actually. It may have been her pores or maybe she just had a chemical peel. I was kinda scared.

I never knew Carrot Top before his change.

I don’t want to sound like a bad person. I’m just a very natural person. I couldn’t even guess how old this woman was. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. I think people should get let their wrinkles show, you should be happy with the way you are. The thing about this woman, was she wasn’t happy. She didn’t get any extra attention. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone with this topic. But come on! Enough is enough!

On the other hand, on the same ride, I came face to face with The Hulk himself!

Ok, well not Lou, but a guy who looked exactly like him. It was crazy! He had huge arms and he just strolled into the subway car with his gym bag (of course) and just stood there.

I gave him a once over (I mean, he was HIGE!) and looked over at Anthony and squeezed his not as big biceps. I don’t think he noticed the guy because I’m sure he would have flexed or something. And I laughed.

Imagine hugging that guy!! I would be squished. Muscles have never tickled my fancy, I mean, come on buddy, you could kill someone with those guns!

So those were my latest victims of my blog.

A shout out to Sarah, who ran to the closing doors of the subway and left me stranded on the platform for not running as fast. Thanks, Sarah.

LOVE YOU!!

And a shout out to Katie R, whom I had a lovely conversation with waiting for the train: me on the westbound side, and her on the eastbound side.

LOVE YOU TOO!

Bye for now.

*Just to straighten things up, Anthony did see the Hulk and knew I would compare The Hulk to him.

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The NYC Subway Experience

13 03 2010

Going to a new city is very exciting and also very scary. Not having a car was a blessing in New York because the pedestrians are crazy and the cabs are worse. Our only options to get around were walking and taking the subway.

Those numbers and letters are different lines.

My friend’s job on the trip was our itinerary. She planned it weeks in advance and we had almost everything covered. My job was figuring out how to get to those places.

Thanks to our trusty guide books that were equipped with lovely subway maps, I spent 30 minutes to an hour every night or morning trying to figure out what line to go on and what stop to get off at. It makes the TTC look so bare, and very easy. The MTA is very intimidating, I mean look at this map!

And this is only Manhattan!

I should have read this blog before I left but  I didn’t find it until today!

I wanted to share some funny experiences that I… experienced. And some not so funny.

  1. First ever trip: Crazy man yelling out and when people looked at him he started yelling at them. Didn’t like people who were not white because he directed a lot of the yelling at two innocent men a few feet away. Sarah and I were afraid of the swearing and got off at the next stop and waited for the next train.
  2. A lady with 3 large purses talking to some girl about how confusing a book that the girl was holding was. She couldn’t understand any of it when she was in school apparently. The women also was putting on lipstick and reminded me of the foundation queen (see previous blog).
  3. The train stopped and within 5 seconds there was someone on the speaker telling passengers that the delay was being caused by a train just ahead of us and we would be moving along shortly. This happened a few times during the week and I was very impressed with the customer service and communication. Thumbs up! The TTC would never ever do that!
  4. We saw these guys!
  5. A very cute, blond New Yorker was very happy to hear the musicians above. He was applauding them and “was a prefect ending to his work day.” He gave them money. When he got up he told us to have a wonderful day. When we also got up at the same stop he again told us to have a wonderful day. Sarah said I should have flirted back. Oh well.
  6. When we got off at that stop, there was a big fat rat on the platform to greet us. He was cute. Other people were shrieking in horror.

Riding the MTA was a wonderful experience. As long as you do your research before you get there, there is nothing to worry about. The cars are very clean; no newspapers or litter anywhere to be seen. It makes it look like Torontonians are animals!! The communication was wonderful! They announced every stop and which direction the train was going every time the doors were opening. People just listened to their iPods and minded their own business. There were digital route maps on some trains that showed all the stops.

We also had Metrocards that you had to load money onto from machines before you got on the subway and all you had to do was swipe! It told you how much money was on your card and if you had enough for your next trip. So awesome!!

I am proud to say we didn’t get lost once! When you got above ground, that’s when it got confusing.

So my advice to you! Do your research, look at signs, get off the train if someone is cursing in your direction, don’t pick up the rats, and heaven forbid you ever take your guide book out of your bag with all those people watching 😉

FUN TIMES!





The Granny Went to Town

26 02 2010

There is nothing more sweet and salty? then to see an older lady, now known as granny, waiting for the subway. There is just something about her: she’s very small but confident, usually has grocery bags (the reusable kind) “Because deary, I’ve been reusing my bags for years”, or has a cane that she barely uses, but likes having one.

We do love grannies!

So my granny (I don’t know her) came on the subway at Yonge and Bloor a few seconds after me and she seemed to be nervous around all the people. I think she was in the middle of a conversation with a younger women (maybe from the Bloor line). Granny was saying that the experience of getting on the subway during rush hour wasn’t as bad as she thought. She didn’t get knocked over or pushed, and she actually was happy with the experience.

She stood for about 2 minutes until a young girl close by offered her seat.

“Oh no, please sit, you’ve been working all day!”

“It’s alright, I’m getting off in two stops anyway”

This young girl should have said “You are sixty years older then me and have no balance left, it would be my pleasure for you to sit here!”

But no.

The woman who walked on the subway with her asked why she was in the city during rush hour (probably doesn’t happen often). She said she was out for tea with an old friend and lost track of time.

She then started talking about her son that lives in Parry Sound and that he was never married and she had no grandchildren. At this point, I don’t know who she was talking to.

Maybe just anyone who would listen.

Like me.

This is me and my granny. Although, she is actually my Grandma, or Nonna.

Sometimes those grannies have great stories to tell. And they don’t mind who is there to hear them.